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Never in living history have so many- felt the burden of National responsibility. But do we actually know what on Earth we are doing? Britain is teetering at the edge of a crumbling precipice, a void that promises only the unknown, and the choice is fall into this abyss and simply hope that all will be well or dig our stubborn heels into the soft rock and back the Hell up?

The battle lines are drawn. But which chief do you support? With all the dirty propaganda it’s difficult to know who our potential political masters really are… This is how I see them, in a sort of poetic form…

Boris is caricature, a bumbling Reich Chancellor, driven by greed. Austere excuses to murder the meek, and a doglike need to appease the geek- false godlike Obergruppenführer- hiding in fog- the bespectacled Mogg. Bending truth while quaffing champagne (gallons of taxpayer subsidised gain), his words must be taken, light, with pinches of salt. ‘Left’ shoulder, thrown over, bad luck, on the ‘right’!

Jeremy the good Saracen as well as Samaritan, loyal as the day is long just not loyalist, is that wrong? Fighting for the little guy he forgets the needs of giants, but we don’t want them forced to hide, it’s merging that will turn the tide. He’ll buy Britain back from the shareholder pack and subsidise living so thieves and the spivin’ will crack and everyone says no to the frack but what of the Union? Our Union Jack? Heart is in a decent place but what of the bill- Graduates face?

Nigel is making plans for Britain, which isn’t how the song was written. A charismatic man of means, full of beans and thus chinook. I admit he makes me coo but I hear Hitler knew how to woo, too. Wanna know what makes him tick but fearful it, might be a bomb? I like to hear him rant and grumble, but I don’t want this land to crumble. Perhaps he’ll join the jungle crew? Just chill and have a beer or two and leave this island BRIT-E.U?

Jo, after Nick, I just don’t know. We trusted Libs to rebuild bridges, heal the sick, save the world, but against our wishes, Clegg sold us out, gave us up to Tory doubt. Who will you bolster this time Jo, when the vote calls for coalition? Will you end Conservatism or destroy Labour’s love-in vision? Have we ever had before a bumpkin live at Number Ten? It might be nice “ooh ah”, fresh breaths of country air, to quell the bullshit stench again.

Sian Berry, has much rant to vent. More preaching to the world ‘repent’. Green taxes aren’t the answer though, the coffers swell but Earthers know, when resources gone, nowhere to go, environmental change- too slow. One day they may have things to say that will appeal and voters, feel the need to sway. The world is changing with social media, fact resistant folk believe our rock is flat and that we’re living in the Truman Show. Reality is fantasy, this, is status quo.

SNP? Listen to me… History shows that united we stand and divided we fall. UK devolution is not the solution and Brexit just wrecks it, for all. We have to join forces, hold hands and share voices and not go quiet ‘the night… We must save National Health and our meek and defenceless, we must make houses for homeless, reduce carbon excesses. We must consider our number and reduce over time, cos the food will run out and that is a crime!